Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Day LII: Snatch Game

The Snatch Game is one of the many ru-curring themes of RuPaul's Drag Race, but it's the show's only repeating main challenge. Sure, there are acting and singing and dancing challenges every season, but the Snatch Game is the only sure-fire portion of the competition. If you're not prepared with a sickening celebrity impersonation?

Pack your bags.

For those not in the know, the Snatch Game is a direct descendent of the Match Game, a popular game show during the 60s, 70s, and 80s. The host asks a question ("Dumb DeeDee is so dumb, she thought a Kardashian was a ___________!) and the two contestants provide an answer for the blanks. The panel of celebrities--and I use that word loosely--also provide an answer a piece in hopes of matching the contestant's response. A match is worth a point and whoever has the most points at the end of the show is crowned the winner.

Of course, this is the Snatch Game, and things are 5394 times better because it's drag queens as celebrities and celebrities as contestants.

And, I gotta say, these girls turnt it. So let's just get into it.

10. Laganja Estranja (bottom two)

Zoe thank you.
Well, okay, most girls turnt it. Some of them fell from the top of my list in a blaze of self-sabotage and crocodile tears. Look. It's one thing to let the pressure of the competition break your guard a bit and provoke an outburst or two. That could almost be labeled natural. It's another thing entirely to break down every week because you're not getting the attention you feel entitled to. I'm still rooting for Laganja because I think there is more to her than we've seen thus far. Do I think she's better than what we've seen so far? Definitely. But if she can't lose some of that entitled bullshit and quippy/attention-seeking garbage, she's not going to last.  

9. Gia Gunn (eliminated)

Kouldn't deliver
I was really hoping that Gia would slay Laganja in the lipsync for your life. It just wasn't in the cards for my pet queen. I will miss Gia's cattiness and gag-worthy facial expressions and hand gestures. I'll miss her air-headed one liners, too. But most of all, I'll miss her appreciation for all things ferocious. She's an excellent artist and performer; I hope the exposure of the show will catapult her into severe stardom. As Kim Kardashian, she fell completely flat. There was NOTHING Kim K. about her. Even the look was generic. If you can't be funny, don't look like the celebrity, and cannot embody any of that star quality, you're not choosing the right character. Was Gia destined to win this? Probably not. But last night, I was sincerely hoping she would send her friend packing.

8. Trinity K. Bonet (safe)

Nicki Minotgreat
Trinity continues to bore the piss out of me. Last night, though, we got a small glimpse of her personality and struggle when she received a message from home and opened up about being HIV positive. I thought her approach to discussing her illness was mature and intelligent and self-aware; maybe she could, I dunno, choose one to incorporate to the rest of the competition? I think she continues to impress, looks-wise, but "you can't buy a personality." And that Nicki Minaj? Is that who were trying to channel? Could have fooled me! And thank you, Bianca Del Rio, for calling that girl out on her wig-switch in the middle of the challenge. If it had been delivered properly, no one would have called it out. But it took her so long that she didn't manage to write down an answer to the question! If you're not going to innovate your own schtick, but instead copy one of the most flawless queens in the herstory of Drag Race, you better fucking deliver. Ooo, lawd, that hit my nerve!

7. Milk (bottom three) 

Recipe for disaster
Oh how the mighty have fallen! Milk has been so impressive outside of the competition. In interviews, on Instagram, in other media: she's completely flawless. But everything she's done up to this point, not including the challenge she should have won (the fist challenge), has been totally bland. Even as a pregnant woman at the Tony's she was underwhelming. Breaks my heart! I see so much talent and nerve and poise in Milk, but she's failed to deliver at nearly every turn. Julia Child was pretty terrible, but nowhere near as unforgivable as her runway look. If you're going to be shocking, at least perfect the look! Her bald cap was clockable and her makeup was a mess. I just hated every minute of it. For once, Santino was right: she could have been more shocking by delivering 100% pure RuPaul eleganza.

6. Darienne Lake (safe)

Now without racism!

Sink or swim, this is not a lake I want to be near right now! Darienne's attitude continues to grind my gears. I cannot say enough good about her humor and charm, but it's all seemed to wash away over the past two weeks, and I do not like what's left on the shore. She had some unfortunate editing this week: we never once saw her even respond to a question in the Snatch Game. Her commentary with the other queens was great, though, and her look was pretty spot on. I wish she would have stepped it up and delivered a performance that was good enough to merit all her belittling and weird attitude shift. It would have been more forgivable. She did look great on the runway, though, so I won't fault her too excessively. Step it up girl, step it up!

5. Courtney Act (safe)

Pretty hot nanny, eh?
Courtney's shining moments were not on the runway or in the challenge this week. She was okay as Fran Drescher, but that was upstaged in three words and a laugh by Joslyn Fox's. She looked beautiful on the main stage, but there were definitely better looking girls up there. She was just very middle of the road. Except when it comes to heart. Courtney has consistently been one of the most genuines, quippy, and friendly queens in the bunch. From poking fun at Bianca going home, to praising Adore for being just the way she is, Courtney is definitely the queen that's in everyone's corner and still manages to outshine most everyone. That's pretty damn dynamic, y'all.

4. Joslyn Fox (safe)

New Jersey? New favorite!
For as much as Joslyn loves Courtney Act, I think Joslyn is right up there with her. She is seriously so surprising! Her charisma is abundant, her charm undeniable. She's perfectly friendly, but not afraid to speak up. Her critiques never come from a place of anger, and she's not reactionary in a way that's upsetting or unwarranted. As Theresa Guidice from the Real Housewives of New Jersey: SHE SLAYED. I don't think she was given enough credit for her performance. I didn't laugh the hardest at her responses, but I did laugh more consistently. She's basically a shoe-in for Miss Congeniality, but wouldn't it be a lovely surprise if she also continued to rise to the top? I would be completely okay with her continued meteoric rise.

3. Bianca Del Rio (top three)

"Only Judy can judge me."

For someone who calls herself the queen of mean, I think Bianca might actually have the biggest heart of the season. From helping Laganja with her makeup or Adore with her appearance or Laganja with her confidence or Laganja with her performance or Laganja with her attitude or Laganja with... Okay, we get it. Bianca delivered a spectacular Judge Judy in the Snatch Game this week, even if she did fall victim to talking over some of the other girls. I understand that's sort of what you get with the Judge, but I didn't think it needed to be as completely crass as Bianca made it. I think what really helped her stand out this week is that Bianca's shade and reading and bitchiness all comes from a constructive place. If it's not for the purpose of fun, she's telling you how it is because she's breaking down another girl's disillusionment. I completely believe in Bianca's character and ability to keep her focus. I wasn't sure about her at first, but she's got another fan in me.

2. Adore Delano (top three)

Anna Nicole, Spelling Champion
I love this girl. She has so much spark and talent and passion: she's my favorite type of drag queen. Anna Nicole Smith was alive and well at the Snatch Game last night; Adore might as well have been a medium, that's how spooktacularly spot-on her impersonation was. She even had Ru rolling in the work room before the challenge had even started! After her awesome moment with Bianca, she looked completely flawless on the runway. I don't care if her dress didn't hit the floor, she looked like a force on the runway. I was living for her hair, for her mug, for her body: it was all on point last night and I hope she continues the trend.

1. Ben DeLaCreme (Winner)

Who's the queen to rule them all?
Girl. Girl. Girl. Have I got my eyes on this one! After (deliberately?!) making the viewing audience upsettingly nervous about her inability to do impressions or a British accent, DeLa rose to the occasion and absolutely destroyed the Snatch Game. As Maggie Smith, she was so deliciously aged and pretentious. I would call her performance one of the three best to ever grace the stage. Additionally, her RuPaul look was the absolute best of the bunch. She basically won the challenge and the runway, and is still one of the very best personalities in the group. DeLa also had my favorite moment outside of the challenge. In the work room, she opened up about his struggles with bullying and the passing of his mom when he was thirteen. It was so vulnerable and thoughtful and precious that I couldn't help but choose it as her photo for this week's screen grab. It chilled me to the bone watching her reflect, literally and figuratively, after being so confident and commanding in the challenge.  The first queen to win two challenges, I have high hopes that DeLa is here for the long haul.

Personal Ranking Week V
Trinity K. Bonet
Laganja Estranja
Gia Gunn
Darienne Lake
Joslyn Fox
Courtney Act
Bianca Del Rio
Ben DeLaCreme
Adore Delano

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