Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Day LXXXVII: Glitter Ball!

There comes a point in every season of RPDR when the girls are challenged to choreograph a group number, put together three distinct looks, and judge their competition. Season six continued the trend with this year's "Glitter Ball!"

After a brilliant bitchfest where the queens received some much-needed therapy via puppet look-alikes of their competition, the penultimate challenge was underway! Charged to deliver "Banjee Girl Bling, " "Platinum Card Executive Realness," and "Dripping in Jewels Eleganza," the remaining five girls definitely had their hands full.

5. Darienne Lake (bottom two)

With only five competitors left, you cannot afford to make a single misstep. Somehow, Darienne managed to survive another week after missing the mark on all three counts of the runway. She looked like a piece of crayon art in her first number. The only difference? Not even a mother could call it pretty. Channeling some serious Wynonna Judd in her business attire, Michelle delivered the observation of the night: where are you the executive? Jiffy Lube? And her last number, the one created by her own hands, looked like a melted butterscotch dilly bar. And, yeah, that sounds kind of sexy. wasn't. So Darienne missed the boat on every count: why wasn't she eliminated? Turns out, Miss Lake knows how to deliver some Kelly Clarkson. In a lipsync to the song Stronger, Darienne managed (barely) to out-mouth her competitor. Congrats on joining the ever-so-exclusive "I Survived Three Lipsyncs" Club!

4. Courtney Act (bottom three)

Such a snooze fest for me this week. It's funny, too, because Courtney is the type of queen that I always respond well to! She's (mostly) friendly, exceptionally polished, and isn't afraid to throw back and forth with the judges. There's just something slightly disconcerting about her, and I can't put my finger on it. There are flashes of brilliance--real, true star power shit--but they aren't frequent enough to hold my attention. I thought she was killer in her banjee outfit. Trashy? Sure, but I think she put together a look that managed to perfectly play into her strengths. Bored to tears by that executive look. It was good--AND THOSE LEGS--but it was too safe for me. The only part of her eleganza look I liked was the hair. She wasn't a blonde! And it worked! I wouldn't mind seeing a little more variation from this blonde bombshell: it makes her more appealing. At this point, I am not sure it matters. She's going to look very good with a bronze medal.

3. Ben Delacreme (eliminated)

Well, shit. In what will certainly be the most frowned upon elimination of the season, Ben was sent packing in a rematch lipsync against Darienne Lake. While it's possible that Ben should not have been there in the first place, she was outperformed in the bottom two and had to bow out before the last challenge of the season. Honestly, I felt like I wasn't seeing the same outfits on the runway that the judges were. Ben was criticized for every look, and only deserved heat for one of them. Her banjee girl bling totally gave me what I was looking for. It was trashy and conceptual, and still managed to be very DeLa. The executive look was nothing special, and there were hints of we've seen this before. Still, it was polished and fit the bill. It didn't quite deserve the loathing it received from the judges. The eleganza look was 100% Ben. It was showgirl-y and flirty, but still carried that sense of humor we have come to expect from the Seattle stunner. I was gobsmacked when Ru instructed her to sashay away. Looking ahead to All Stars: I fully expect this queen to be back on our screens.

2. Bianca Del Rio (safe)

I don't have a whole lot to say about Bianca. We all know she's polished and brassy and fun. We get it. She's going to win the crown, and she deserves it. That said: Bianca was underwhelming this week, and still managed to be one of the best two in the bunch. I wasn't thrilled with banjee look. It was too classy for me! It didn't evoke that sense of realization. It was Bianca in a costume, trying to pass as trashy and classy. Didn't quite get there for me. I thought she had the weakest eleganza look, too! (Other than Darienne, of course, who bombed every aspect of the runway.) There wasn't anything impressive about the appearance and it was the same silhouette we've seen time and time again. Polished and beautiful? Yes. It just didn't turn the party. I've intentionally saved her executive realness look for last because it was one of the single best outfits on the night. Just spectacular. She was every bit the real estate mogul she was channeling: bitch looked good.

1. Adore Delano (winner)

WELL LOOK WHO WE HAVE HERE! Adore Delano is back on top, kids! I have never seen a competitor single-handedly steamroll her competition in the "ball" challenge. There have always been two or even three girls that have managed to be impressive, heads and tails above the others. But this season: Adore crushed. Best Banjee Girl, Second Best Executive, Best Eleganza: completely dominated on the main stage. She was serving banjee girl down, and those fucking boots were EVERYTHING. As a "lesbian who still sleeps with men on the weekend," she was only upstaged--barely--by Bianca. And that diamond studded, snow globe fantasy ballerina look? Girl. It was all very that. More importantly, Adore solidified that this race is going to be Adore vs. Bianca in the finale. It's not even close. Courtney will undoubtedly join them in the top three, but, let's be clear, this is a two girl race. And while I think Bianca's going to take it, and would deserve the crown, there is no queen I love more this season that Adore Delano.

Personal Ranking Week XI

Courtney Act
Darienne Lake
Ben Delacreme
Bianca Del Rio
Adore Delano

Predicted Order of Elimination

Darienne Lake
Courtney Act
Adore Delano
Bianca Del Rio

1 comment:

  1. I'm super sad about DeLa leaving :( And I've loved reading your recaps, Josh. My two shows right now are Drag Race and Glee, both of which I really love because there are fabulous people doing recaps (Riese on Autostraddle does Glee).
    As great as Bianca is, I'm totally with you in rooting for Adore.