Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Day CXI: Dolls

Category is: terrifying.

Who would have that the most popular item to receive for your twenty fifth birthday would be dolls?

Not me! But, as it turns out, I received two. 

The first came to me during the work day. My colleague and friend Colleen Dolphin handed me the tiniest little scrumpnugget. Surely you've heard of worry dolls? Well this minuscule toy (?) is traditionally a vessel for anxiety, for fear. You put the itty-bitty doll beneath your pillow and, magically, it extracts all your worries. I have yet to experience it's mystical prowess, but I am confident the next time any sort of turmoil finds its way in to my life: it will stop at my pillow.

The second doll I received this year came from one Mr. Garrick Stegner. Now, Garrick and I have a history of sharing the grossest creatures with one another. (You all remember Little Valentine Creature, right?) Well, he might have outdone himself this year. When I was crawling into bed on my birthday, I happened to brush against a papery package. Immediately, I thought: WINE! WINE! WINE!

But it was so much better--and so much worse. I unwrapped the paper package and discovered that two mason jars had been wrapped together, connected at the mouths, and, inside, was the most horrifying rendition of Winnie the Pooh I've ever been privy to.

The worry doll is adorable. Winnie the Pooh has a brown stain on his left ankle.

The worry doll looks pretty in green. Winnie the Pooh is missing most of one ear.

The worry doll has great complexion. Winnie the Pooh smells a bit formaldehyde-y.

The worry doll fits neatly beneath my pillow. 
Winnie the Pooh is possessed by a demon.

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