“Sometimes bad things happen to good people. And sometimes, bad thing happen…to you.” –Karen Walker
Well, Thursdays actually used to be my favorite day of the week when I was in middle school. I am pretty sure this was a result of a desire to stand out, to be odd, to be weird. To be anomalous. To manipulate attention and intrigue. To bring the spotlight down and focus it in on e in one tight, burning blast of light. I realize that’s an odd way to stand out, but I think you would be surprised just how much impact a tiny little detail like that will have on a person. See, as soon as you wonder why a person would pick such an odd day like Thursday, or why they would posit any other unique fact about them, you’re consciously thinking about them; you’re giving them attention, even if it’s unseen. It’s the same principle behind me saying my favorite holiday is St Patrick’s Day. On paper: sure. I am Irish, love the color green, have a small build like a leprechaun—though little Stevie Briles may be more capable of representing such a body type—and have been known to enjoy a drink or two (or more!) here and there. But, really, who likes St Patrick’s Day more than Christmas (or the religious equivalent) or Independence Day or, oh I dunno, May 14th day? I just don’t think that the 17th of March is any better than any other holiday season.
That being said, if someone tells you that Thursday or St Patrick’s is their favorite of all other possibilities: they’re lying and they want you to remember them. Take it from a former middle school attention whore: Me!
Thursdays blow, my dear attractive readers. They really do! I think today is perhaps a little special—see third presentation of the week, sweaty back, spilled coffee, geology lab, six hours of straight class, dumbass prick and stupid girl (maybe I shouldn’t say stupid as she might actually have a minimal IQ), and my dying phone—but goodness, folks!
Thursdays can S my D.
Still even when jackass extraordinaire attempts to make me look like an idiot in class—for READING A BOOK nonetheless—I immediately snap into the sarcastic (well, more sarcastic), caustic, bitter, and ruthless version of Josh that, in response, makes a smartass comment that results in laughter at said asshole’s expense. Meh. Don’t care too much that he has laughed at and shut up by my response, but I instantly fell guilty whenever the angry and poisonous mode slips through the cracks and says three cheers to making myself look fantastic. It’s not really worth it at the expense of others.
Side note: How fitting is it that as I write this, reflecting on this Thursday, Jeff Haun brings up psychological defense mechanisms? I think it’s my favorite portion of psychology and blogging is one of my favorite activities! Coincidence? Definitely. Just a freak happening, but kinda weird right? (cue that one song that’s like do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do. Ah. Yes. The Twilight Zone Theme Song)
AND: Proof that last blog I hit a note-
“Would you like to watch clip? We don’t have to watch it if you’ve all seen it…Should we watch it? –Haun
“Okay, cool. I think you’ll like it” –Haun
See! I wanted to watch the movie in class; I knew that I didn’t have anything against the weird substitute and lack of conversation! In fact: I realized I would RATHER watch a clip in class than continue talking about conditioning! Yawnsauce.
Tangent! Back to mean Uncle Josh.
So: it’s a guard. It’s instantaneous, rather unforeseen, and so defensive. Funny, certainly, but I am funny anyway! I don’t need to be verbally humiliating toward someone to get a laugh. I mean, I walk into a room and people feel butterflies and smile—Wouldn’t you?! I wouldn’t blame ya. I’m pretty fantastic. *Gross wink face and a shoulder smile here*
Yet, I wonder if it’s not just healthy to snap sometimes. To say, hey, fuckface, you’re being a tool. Grow up and figure your shit out. I imagine it’s probably okay to do every once and a while. In a way, it’s just as vulnerable to take a moment of stance and say: “alright, really, that’s enough.” It puts you in a place of discomfort, of anxiety, of ohshitwhatamIdoingthisisgoingmakemelooklikesuchanidiot.” But, vulnerability and understanding of one’s own moments of fragility reinforces character and improves self esteem and awareness. Cool, right?
For now: I think I will take the advice of a Dove Chocolate.
“Do what feels right.”