Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Why is it that when we were younger all we ever wanted for class was for it to be nothing but movies, demonstrations, and naptime?  (To be fair, all I want these days is naptime--seriously, how flipping great would that be?!)  But now, every time I see that we have a film screening or a lab or a demo, the last thing on my mind is: I can't wait for class today.  I would just rather watch it on my own time and take some time off instead of heading to an hour and a half of boring, uninspired material.

Why is that the case?  How did this change?  When did I leave the nursery of entertainment and become this person that would rather be intellectually engaged by discussion?  God: growing up is icky.  But nice, in an odd, sort of sad way.

 Anyway, as you've probably gathered by now, I have a film screening in class today.  The Lobotomist in Abnormal Psychology.  I guess it could be worse?  I could be watching a film based on the life of the rulers of Eastern Europe and their collective arrogance, pretentious spirit, and overall bitterness toward the world or a terribly funded christian documentary on salvation.  Yeah:  those could be pretty gross--and not even in the good way that I typically use the word 'gross!'

Mostly: I am bothered that the real professor for this class isn't even overseeing the film screening.  It's some shit-grinned dude wearing North Face sportswear and drinking a Mountain Dew that clearly came from the six pack of bottled soda he opened this morning and will finish tonight.  He yells at some guy in the hall and laments his ability to use a computer correctly.  I realize this isn't important; hell, I am fully aware that none of this instance will matter in an hour's time.  But: MY GOD, why do we have substitutes in college?

END RANT.  Yuck.

Sorry 'bout that.  I've just seen The Lobotomist more times than I would like to admit...for pleasure nonetheless.  The book is better, just we're all aware.

ZOMG.  Do you think that's what this is really about?  Maybe I just have a problem with good books being bad movies?

Yep.  That's it.  It's not the faux instructor, it's not the lack of conversation, it's not even the growing up!  It's simply that good books should be just that: good books.

So this tends to happen a lot.  ONe thing sets me off and then I realize: hey, you're not actually that bothered by this moment, it's something completely different and often unrelated.  Maybe it's the Psychologist in me that tries to find the root of all concern, the things that bother and why they bother.  See: sometimes I can be reflective!

In other news:

Loss of appetite, Onset of physically symptomatic nervousness, Volatile mood, Endless stream of thought

Yep.  This is either going to suck or kick ass.

Let life's polarized volley of emotion being!

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