Randomly: Since when has Colbie Caillat been attractive? I was watching this Youtube video of her and I was like: Damn…when did this happen?
My friend Jacque (pronounced Jack-ee) and I were texting after last night’s episode of Glee—great, by the way—and we were talking about how it felt to be back in the United States now that we’ve all been at our schools for a month or so. She had asked me about readjusting to life on campus and then explained that she was asking because she thought I was having the least trouble of anyone in our little group:
"You just seem to be the strongest one of us." -Jacque
"Of all of us?" -Me
"Yea" -Jacque"Haha: You know I love a strong exterior." -Me
"Yes you do." -Jacque
It struck me in that moment that I’m not very good at being vulnerable, that I am much, much better at being the strongest: the most put together, the person ahead of the game. Oddly, I think that this is so unlike me that I might scoff at anyone else who suggested it! I mean, sure, I’m a good student, have decent time management skills, impressively serve a mean espresso, and still throw a fantastic party on the weekend, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not cracking, crumbling, breaking on the inside.
I mean, I’m not, and that’s a little melodramatic. But just because the cover is pretty, doesn’t mean the words make any sense.
Anyway, the conversation spawned talks about boys and girls and those things we do that make us feel good and the way that minutes on the face of the clock count too high, too fast. And when we discovered that time has passed so fast in the last several weeks, I was reminded of this fantastic book I’ve read in the last month: "Time is funny lately, nothing to do with clocks" –Victor Lodato’s Mathilda Savitch. Maybe my favorite book? And yes, I am including The Shadow of the Wind, One Day, and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
Another quote from the same work: “I wondered why god would unlock a door just to show you emptiness. It made me wonder if maybe he was in cahoots with infinity.”
I think he/she/it might be.
I hope those quotations are correct. I am trying them from memory as I just leant the book to a good friend of mine (Kyle Jensen? He’s okay…[crafty laughter]…), and I am far too lazy to look them up just a website search away. Regardless, I am pretty positive they are spot on. I wrote them down on a note card somewhere because I’m a freak when I read! And even when I am not reading really… Whaeva!
Speaking of reading, I wish I had majored in English at GAC and not Psychology. That was a misstep, my friends. Even DDM—that’s Doctor Deborah Downs-Miers, folks—wishes I had, and I don’t hold her as someone easy to impress. I feel like she’s rather particular when it comes to her students, but maybe that’s my outrageous ego! Haha. In all seriousness, I have to let her down tomorrow and I am not excited to do so. I really, really enjoy her teaching style and find her to be so interesting. Unfortunately, I think that Science Fiction is just not my genre, Modern Drama will definitely be more up my alley. And why is this you ask? Well, if I am going to be in full disclosure mode for this little bloggy of mine, I should just admit that I have been thinking a lot lately about applying for a playwriting program for grad school! (See, this is why I am taking a year off! Go life!)
So I just emailed Mat Smart who taught the Playwriting course I took at Gustavus for some advice on where to start looking, what to be ready for, etc. That was impulsive. Which is so unlike me! (eye roll)
Huh. Okay, cool. I hope I hear back from him soon.
Speaking of Killah, here’s a lyric to send you off to bed…or me off to bed, as it were: “But it’s just the price I pay, destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes. Cause I’m Mr. Brightside.”
Special Bonus Fact Time! I have a playlist on my iPod titled Mr. Brightside and it consists of one song set to repeat…Losertown. Population: me.
Can you write more everyday while back at Gac, please!?!? #Lovethis.
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